hello,
Haven't been on here in a while, and for good reason I've been caught up lately with how busy I been(sarcasm). Three months since my last blog and not much has changed just more of the same. these last months seem to all mesh together it feels as if a week has went but not one significant thing has happened it's always the same thing everyday, wake up, eat, Facebook, look for new entertainment to download, try to motivate myself to fill out an application but it never works, reflect on my past and what got me here, try to figure out a new plan for the future. I feel like an author with writer's block I haven't the slightest clue where to begin or where to draw inspiration from. I'm not developing any good habits just continuously building on bad one. I've come to realize that the people that i am surrounding myself with aren't exactly helping my case. i want to move in with my father but am unsure of what that situation will be like once i take the leap mainly i have money concerns as i am not satisfied with my current situation, if i pay rent it will only get worse. i feel as though my biggest enemies are time, frustration, and my own thoughts its like i am a prisoner with in my self. life is so strange one minute you feel like your on top of the world the next your a bottom feeder struggling to get by. where do i go where do i run to? based on past experience i am at my peak of happiness when i am going to church and doing right by christ, but something is holding me back as if my current state is so bad that i have made myself believe that not even GOD can help me which i know is completely bogus but still these feelings exist. i try to fill the void with my ex by giving myself false hope making myself believe that it will work out in due time. but i am not dumb nor blind and i can clearly see that that is not the answer. so what is the answer christ? that would be my first guess but for some reason i keep saying "but". how do i get past it so i can get to my answer? where am i going to stem my emotion my motivation my life from? that is the true question.
you cannot truly live until you have a reason. what is my reason?
LATERZ...
