THE NOTHING #5

WHAT UP,

I'm back again, and i have a mayjor update I HAVE A JOB DUM DUM DUMMMMM! I'm so excited I am truly blessed and thankful for what i have now its time to get moving. It turns out that my first real job that gave me so many life experiences has helped me out yet again thank you radioshack i am eternally grateful. The guys who hired me are my old co workers Will and Nelson as they are both DM's at Metro PCS, the pay is what i was expecting and its a full time position so i should be making what i need each month which is kick ass. I feel so uplifted like things are finally turning around life is so strange when you think your down and out things can change in the blink of an eye when you think your on top your boat can sink quicker than the titanic. it truly is amazing what life throws at you. I have actual aspirations now i want to goto collage and become a photographer or something along the lines of that i have a small passion for it but most importantly i can see myself doing this as a career i want to be the man behind the camera and i know its a long shot but im willing to work towards it and make something of it. I'm excited of the feeling of being overwhelmed in the fall I expect to go back to collage possibly full time while working full time it excites me probably because ive been doing nothing the past 7 months except getting over a heartache and kicking myself while i was down but now the self pity is over i haven't spoken or heard from the "heart-breaker" in over a month which for me is an amazingly long time for me at least, and to top it off I've met a girl that seems dope and just fun to talk to i learned alot from my past relationship and now i know that i have to be my 100% complete self to be happy and go on with no regrets. In my past relationship which was 2.5 years it was covered in lies she was annoying i couldnt stand her from time to time because i bit my tounge and i was to much up her ass im sure if i would have spoken up and been myself everything would have been fine i blame myself. it was a relationship built on lies she believed i was not a virgin when i clearly was and wound up having sex with another girl on our initial break up and never told her about it i cheated on her with a co worker and even kissed the co worker and went the my ex's car and kissed her literally seconds afterwards it was just un healthy i also cheated on her with another co worker who i was infatuated with and the worst part was that she knew i liked the co worker and that the co worker liked me but she put it on the shelf and brushed it off i was an asshole i remember fondly one night we went out to the movies and she started crying before the movie began out of the blue i asked what was wrong she kept saying nothing and it turned out she was upset that i was texting the co worker she knew something was up even though i wasnt cheating on her at the time point is im was a dick and all because i was never honest with her i was a yes man who tried to have this perfect relationship by not letting her ever know things about me or things that i didnt like about her i just kept my mouth shut and boy did that blow up in my face. relationships built on lies will never last thats why im taking it slow enjoying each step with females i meet and being 100% myself and trying my darnedest not to lie about anything no matter how small it is. man this turned into a rant any who

LATERZ...

hello,

Haven't been on here in a while, and for good reason I've been caught up lately with how busy I been(sarcasm). Three months since my last blog and not much has changed just more of the same. these last months seem to all mesh together it feels as if a week has went but not one significant thing has happened it's always the same thing everyday, wake up, eat, Facebook, look for new entertainment to download, try to motivate myself to fill out an application but it never works, reflect on my past and what got me here, try to figure out a new plan for the future. I feel like an author with writer's block I haven't the slightest clue where to begin or where to draw inspiration from. I'm not developing any good habits just continuously building on bad one. I've come to realize that the people that i am surrounding myself with aren't exactly helping my case. i want to move in with my father but am unsure of what that situation will be like once i take the leap mainly i have money concerns as i am not satisfied with my current situation, if i pay rent it will only get worse. i feel as though my biggest enemies are time, frustration, and my own thoughts its like i am a prisoner with in my self. life is so strange one minute you feel like your on top of the world the next your a bottom feeder struggling to get by. where do i go where do i run to? based on past experience i am at my peak of happiness when i am going to church and doing right by christ, but something is holding me back as if my current state is so bad that i have made myself believe that not even GOD can help me which i know is completely bogus but still these feelings exist. i try to fill the void with my ex by giving myself false hope making myself believe that it will work out in due time. but i am not dumb nor blind and i can clearly see that that is not the answer. so what is the answer christ? that would be my first guess but for some reason i keep saying "but". how do i get past it so i can get to my answer? where am i going to stem my emotion my motivation my life from? that is the true question.

you cannot truly live until you have a reason. what is my reason?

LATERZ...

THE NOTHiNG #3

what up,

Soooo last night well this morning i had a dream about my ex and i woke up to her calling me unfortunately the call was about her getting laid off just thought that was strange after that i called this job back to set up an interview and it turns out there a little out of range for my taste so i am currently still unemployed. what else what else oooo my sister has a car and has been out of the house non stop am i jealous F*CK yea im jealous. and thats pretty much the nothing for today and back to filling out applications and doing well nothing until production knocks on my door and says get ur lazy ass up and do something.

LATERZ...

THE NOTHiNG #2

what up,

How am i supposed to get views on this site? im completely lost. just made a new youtube account where i will be posting vids of me doing... honestly i have no clue what i will be doing probably just talking sort of a unofficial vlog

youtube.com/THENOTHiNGqaz

LATERZ...

the nothing

Hello, this is officially my first blog and i have absolutely nothing to talk about hence the blog name THE NOTHING. With that being said i will mainly use this site to speak my mind on whatever subject i feel i should speak on whether it be personal or public. Thats pretty much it, til next time

LATERZ....